


Boludo es un culo roto

by un_petit_peu_de_moi



Series: Marcos and the boludo [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Argentina NT - Freeform, M/M, starring mate and burnt toasts, this is very not serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7223227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/un_petit_peu_de_moi/pseuds/un_petit_peu_de_moi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kun follows Leo around like a puppy and Marcos somehow decides he's gonna adopt that puppy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boludo es un culo roto

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Heeey. So, once again, a Rojo/Kun I didn't mean to write but that I wrote anyway... Still not smut though, bummer.  
> Anyway, much like the precedent story, this is very light, verging crack. Actually this is technically a follow-up to [King of the boludos](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6878110), though it can probably stand on its own.
> 
> Oh also, the title ! Well Boludo is an Argentinian slang that basically means idiot, though literally it means huge balls. As for culo ruto, it's another Argentinian insult, which you shouldn't search on its own on google because it literally means 'broken ass' and such a google search will lead you to porn in Spanish. So... the title basically means, 'the idiot is an asshole'.

Marcos looks at Kun from his place on the bench. Kun follows Leo around like usual. Carries his mate, hands it to him, takes it back, chatters to make Leo laugh, gives him his mate back so he can drink. Marcos knows for a fact Leo is big enough to carry his own drink yet in all his years in the national team he's never seen him do it; there is always someone (mostly Kun) there to carry his mate (and bag) for him.

 

Now and then, Kun would spot him and grin broadly at him before resuming his daily routine, and the fact that his eyes wanders to Marcos is really the only thing that changed in the last few weeks.

 

And then Leo goes where Kun can't follow – to take a shit presumably – and Kun looks like a lost puppy for a second before he spots Marcos again and happily jogs up to him.

 

Marcos doesn't move, his forearms resting on the back of the bench and his long legs stretched out before him, and when Kun sits by his sides, it probably looks like Marcos slipped an arm behind him, which he _hasn't_.

 

“Aren't you tired of this?” Marcos asks, nodding to the mate Kun is carrying.

 

“Uh? It's not heavy.”

 

Marcos rolls his eyes. “Can't the dwarf carry it himself?”

 

“Well he...” Kun mumbles something, obviously not having anything to say that wouldn't sound like ' _I'm at Leo's beck and calls_ '.

 

“Isn't he taken anyway? That guy from Brazil calls him every evening.”

 

Kun's face grow darker, a frown overtaking his features. “Neymar,” he whispers darkly.

 

“Yeah, that kid. Leo's hitting it from behind isn't he?”

 

Kun huffs. “This won't last.”

 

Marcos laughs out loud, which seems to confuse Kun, who looks at him with wide confused eyes – he looks kind of a cow like that. Kun is often confused anyway.

 

“Are you in love with him?” Marcos finally asks, because really he's been wondering ever since he got here years ago.

 

“Uh?” and there again, unsurprisingly Kun is confused. “With Neymar?” he finally says, nose scrunching in disgust.

 

“With Leo _boludo_.”

 

“Oh. Oh!” Kun's face light with realization and then darkens with horror. “Oh no. No, of course-- _no_.”

 

Marcos thinks he's a bit too adamant about it but as Marcos searches his face doubtfully, Kun seems honestly offended by the idea. Go figure.

 

“Uh.” Marcos looks away from Kun's round face and back at the pitch, where the dwarf has resurfaced from his divine mission and is now looking around, most likely searching for his mate and the carrier that goes with it.

 

“I'm--” Kun's voice breaks his musing, and Marcos is surprised he's not already running to Leo like a dog to his owner. Kun doesn't even seem to have noticed the little prince. “I'm actually, um, interested in someone else right now...”

 

Marcos looks at him again, and Kun's face looks a bit hot. He's staring at the ground, visibly embarrassed, and _right_ , he means him, of course. Marcos smirks, and lets his fingers brush against Kun's nape, making him shiver.

 

“Right, you have a girlfriend don't you?” Marcos teases, and when Kun throws him a confused look his smile widens. Thankfully, Kun doesn't seem to be able to tell a smirk from a smile.

 

“No she broke up with me a few days ago. I meant… I meant you,” he mumbles.

 

Marcos feels gleeful, barely resisting the urge to laugh at Kun's embarrassed face.

 

“She broke up with you? Why?”

 

“I dunno,” Kun shrugs. “I told her I was interested in you and that you'd kissed me, and then she broke up with me. I dunno,” he repeats, shrugging like he honestly doesn't get it.

 

“Yeah,” Marcos says, lifting his eyebrows in faked disbelief, “ _weird_.”

 

Kun shrugs again, and he slouches more on the bench, sliding down just so until his head is conveniently resting on his forearm. Marcos doesn't say anything, staring briefly at Kun's pouty lips before looking back at the pitch.

 

Leo is now talking with Masche but he can tell from his posture that he's thirsty, his eyes glancing every now and then at Kun. Their eyes meet and Marcos smiles widely at him, with all his teeth, earning himself a confused but unhappy glare from their little king.

 

“Hey Kun,” he nudges Kun, who seemed quite comfy on his arm.

 

“What?”

 

“Your boyfriend is looking for you.”

 

“My boy--” Marcos nods in Leo's direction before Kun can finish, and Kun sits straight at once, now entrusted with the great task of serving Lionel Messi. He gets up hastily, but before leaving he seems to remember something, and he turns to him with a frown. “He's not my boyfriend.”

 

Of course it'd be important to him that Marcos knows, he thinks with a smile.

 

“I know,” he answers, smiling. “Because I am.”

 

He takes satisfaction in the fact Kun's so out of it he spills mate all over Leo's white shirt.

 

 

–

 

 

Marcos takes a deep breath, feeling pretty satisfied with himself as the morning sunlight hits his chest and warms his body. The weight on his chest groan, a mop of black hair shifting to bury itself in his armpit.

 

Gross.

 

Kun doesn't seem to want to let him go to the bathroom, but he's also pretty weak and it takes barely any effort for Marcos to put him away to take his morning piss. When he walks back into the bedroom, Kun is shifting around in the bed, a grimace on his face.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

Kun nods. “I'm sore.”

 

Parts of Marcos feels a bit proud because yes, he's been known to be a wild lover, and from Kun's reaction last night he'd been into that.

 

“I don't think I'm fit to play,” Kun bemoans.

 

Marcos sits on the bed and pets his mop of hair in comfort, and keeps to himself the fact that he probably wouldn't have started anyway.

 

“We have the morning off, you can just lay there,” Marcos tells him, getting up and searching for a pair of underwear to put on.

 

“I can't. I need to go to my room to make mate.”

 

Marcos stares holes into Kun's back. “For Leo?” The shifting around in his bed stops. “What about _I_ make _you_ mate?”

 

It doesn't really solve the issue of their little prince not having his mate, but it does distract Kun, who peeks over his shoulder looking surprised. At any rate, Marcos is pretty sure Messi will find something to busy himself with, like sexting his Brazilian booty call.

 

“Wait here,” he says. He hears a muffled, _it's not like I can go anywhere,_ and has to keep himself from smirking.

 

Now, Marcos isn't very good at cooking and baking and all that stuff, but there are things even he can manage. He's not as into mate as some of his other compatriots, but he can whip something decent. He makes toast and brings the jam out, and that's pretty simple but he figures, it still makes for a nice breakfast. The fact that the toasts turn out so burnt they're black is but an unfortunate turn of event he did not have any control over.

 

He brings it all to Kun in bed, putting a tray next to his head. Kun peeks up, blinking a few times.

 

“You made me breakfast?” he says, disbelief in his voice.

 

“Yeah,” Marcos says proudly. And then because it's Kun, he adds, a bit less proudly. “I burnt the toasts though.”

 

Kun blinks again, shifting so he can take a hold of the mate and take a big sip on it. “It's perfect,” he says. “Thanks.” and he smiles up at him with a mega-watt smile (which, Marcos discovered the night before, _didn't_ actually shine in the dark like he thought it did).

 

Marcos slips back in bed, getting a taste of his own burnt toast – the taste goes away with enough strawberry jam – and listening absent-mindedly to Kun's chatter.

 

He does remember to take a picture of the two of them though, a nice selfie of Kun and himself, visibly naked in his bed with the burnt toast between them. He sends it to Leo and captions it, _'how does your mate taste this morning dwarf?'._

 

Leo refuses to pass the ball to him that day but it's definitely worth it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright the title isn't meant to only mean 'the idiot is an asshole', but gotta keep it T-rated eh?  
> And contrary to what it looks like, I like Messi a lot, and imagining as a grumpy manchild brings me a lot of joy.  
> Anyway this goes to Grandma, who is old, and that's it.
> 
> Also, background for this story :  
> \- [this](http://the-fuckboy-dynasty.tumblr.com/post/145607569347/leomessiforever-o-rei-e-seus-fi%C3%A9is-escudeiros), [this](http://the-fuckboy-dynasty.tumblr.com/post/146029941667/lionelandresmessii-when-you-love-him-so-much) and [this](http://the-fuckboy-dynasty.tumblr.com/post/146029859342/lionelandresmessii-when-you-love-him-so-much), is Kun carrying Leo's mate. I found it sad.  
> \- [an interview](http://the-fuckboy-dynasty.tumblr.com/post/146030903052/a-goldmine) of Kun where he says he and Leo drink Kun in the morning (apparently, Kun is the one to make the mate)  
> \- [a picture](https://www.instagram.com/p/8aZB9PRS4S/) of Marcos Rojo in bed with his girlfriend. He made her breakfast and the toasts are _slightly_ burnt.


End file.
